04
May
2023

How to let go/ release an ex


 

The break up. It’s not easy, it’s not comfortable, it hurts, it feels like it’s never ending and sometimes wanting to go back to our ex despite logically knowing the break up is what’s best for you. The emotional part of you still feels attached. Here’s steps on how to let go of your ex.

 

Cut off contact

It’s hard but it’s necessary, the answer is no you don’t need to be friends. You don’t need to text or call.

 

Delete them on social media

Delete them off all social media platforms. Following them and checking what they are up to is not healthy for your healing and release of your ex.

 

Let go of the fantasy

People often mourn the relationship they thought they could have. They remember all the good and forget about any of the negative. Remind yourself that the break up was necessary for your both if it was unhealthy and not working any longer.

 

Make peace with the past

Forgiveness. Forgiveness is not about letting your ex of the hook for there actions, it’s about your emotional freedom.

 

Know it’s ok to still love them

But know that love in itself is not what makes a healthy relationship. Love by itself is not enough to make a relationship work.

 

 

Love yourself more

Never expect someone else to treat you better then you treat yourself. You are the model for how you deserve to be treated. Love yourself more to know your worth and give yourself the gift of letting go of a relationship that no longer was working out.

 

Reach out to a therapist to support you on this journey.

New day vitality is honored to be apart of your journey. Click on the link below to connect with us.

Newdayvitalitytherapy.com

 

 

Posted by Colette Lopane-Capella
20
Apr
2023

Healthy Boundaries


 

We all have heard about them. Some of us have practiced them. Sometimes they feel comfortable and necessary and sometimes they feel impossible to implement. Let’s jump in and talk about healthy boundaries.

 

What is a healthy boundary?

First let’s define healthy boundaries to get a better understanding of the meaning and concept.

According to divethru.com a healthy boundary can be defined as the following

Setting boundaries means drawing a clear line for what people can and can’t say or do to you so that you don’t get taken advantage of. They’re like an instruction manual for your body and mind, with an extra little “handle with care” section on the first page. You use boundaries to make your own personal growth a priority, improve relationships and conserve emotional energy! Setting healthy boundaries means that you, your values for other people. You stand by your values and, in turn, respect other people’s boundaries. But, it is good to keep your boundaries flexible, because they may change over time if you decide to step out of your comfort zone.   Healthy boundaries are in contrast to rigid boundaries where you tend to avoid intimacy and come off as detached. And, porous boundaries, which involve oversharing personal information and having trouble saying “no.’ But it’s totally normal to sometimes take on qualities from all of the above!

So now that we have defined healthy boundaries let’s discuss the different boundaries.

 

Types of boundaries

  • Personal Space: also known as your “bubble.”
  • Physical: what you like and don’t like in bed or with casual contact.
  • Emotional: your level of comfort with sharing what’s on your mind.
  • Material: how much you are willing to share certain things or possessions.
  • Time And Energy: how much you are comfortable giving to something or someone.
  • Intellectual: the topics you are and aren’t open to talking about (like politics).

 

Why are boundaries important?

Healthy boundaries are necessary components for self-care. Without boundaries, we feel depleted, taken advantage of, taken for granted, or intruded upon. Whether it’s in work or in our personal relationships, poor boundaries may lead to resentment, hurt, anger, and burnout. As explained in https://www.theresiliencecentre.com.au/boundaries-why-are-they-important/

 

Examples of ways to practice healthy boundaries

Saying no

Listening to your body

Doing what is in the best interest of you

Walking away from uncomfortable environments

Do self reflection

Make small steps and grow

Be consistent with boundaries

void social media

Be your biggest advocate and supporter

 

It might take some time and consideration to explore and decide the boundaries most important to you and the best ways to implement them, but your mental health will appreciate the effort in the long run. Begin to implement healthy boundaries in your life today, it’s necessary. Learn more: https://clopanetherapy.com/individual-therapy/.

 

 

 

Posted by Colette Lopane-Capella
06
Apr
2023

Anxiety and Self-Care


 

I feel anxious, how do I implement self-care?

Let’s first define anxiety and talk about some symptoms one may experience with anxiety before we get into how to improve self-care.

 

Defining Anxiety

Anxiety is defined by the American Psychological Association as “Anxiety is an emotion characterized by feelings of tension, worried thoughts and physical changes like increased blood pressure. People with anxiety disorders usually have recurring intrusive thoughts or concerns. They may avoid certain situations out of worry. They may also have physical symptoms such as sweating, trembling, dizziness or a rapid heartbeat.â€

To read more check out their site: https://www.apa.org/topics/anxiety

Now we understand anxiety and symptoms how do we implement self-care regimens to lower anxiety?

Anxiety can be very stressful. It can effect multiple parts of your life, including your every day activities. But there’s steps that you can take to help lower your anxiety level and improve your self care. Here’s some self-care ideas you can implement to potentially help lower your anxiety level.

Mindfulness

Mindful breathing

Progressive muscle relaxation

Talk to someone you trust

Talk to a therapist

Mediation

Journaling

Listening to soothing music

Journal your worries in a worry jar

Get enough sleep

Eat healthy

Join a peer support group

Listen to an inspiring podcast

Go for a walk

Be in nature

Watch the sunset

Watch the sunrise

Yoga

Drink a glass of water

Stretch

Watch funny videos on YouTube

Make a list of inspiring quotes

 

How do I pick a self-care tool to help with my anxiety?

Now that you have some ideas of ways to practice self-care often times the next question I get is which one do I try out first? My answer, always the same. The one that you feel most drawn to. So for instance, if your a person who loves being outdoors, then watching the sunset, or rise or even going for a walk outside may be one that you may enjoy. So try that out first. If for some reason it doesn’t feel fitting then try another one, literally go down the list of ideas till you find one or even many that you find helpful. Remember you have to give yourself the time to see if you enjoy it and it’s helpful and also it’s not one size fits all. One exercise a friend may use and find helpful may not be the same for you and likewise. So be patient with yourself and try out what feels most fitting and appealing to you. For more ideas on self- care, check out this list of 100 self-care ideas to create an authentic life you love: https://olgaphoenix.com/blog/100-self-care-ideas-to-create-authentic-life-you-love/

 

Now we have some ideas of self-care regimens we can implement how is self-care going to help lower anxiety?

Self-care is a way to regulate your system. Self-care also is a way to put your needs first. By practicing self-care one becomes more mindful. Being mindful helps to lower stress and worry and practice being present, more grounded and centered. Practicing mindfulness can also help an individual turn inward and become quiet and still and to focus attention on what’s happening in the moment and less attention on the past or future. When one is able to practice being present we are able to support ourselves in the here and now. Self-care and mindfulness go hand and hand. Try some new self-care tools out today and begin to see your anxiety level come down.

To learn more about mindfulness, check out our page on mindfulness: https://clopanetherapy.com/mindfulness-therapy/

 

 

Posted by Colette Lopane-Capella
23
Mar
2023

How old are you? 


 

How old are you?

How old are you? The question that we all have gotten and have all asked, many many times. I encourage to begin to answer this question differently and even ask it in a different manner.

 

So how old are you?

Instead think about all you’ve done

 And then

 All you want to do

 Then subtract it

 That’s your age

 Most of the time, you’re much much younger than you even thought.

 So here’s your homework:

 Create a new journal

 One where you begin to write down all the beautiful, amazing, exciting things you’ve done in your life.

 Then once done documenting this, now write down all the exciting, amazing, wonderful things you want to do or have planned for your future. Use this list as your goals list for you, for you age.

 Begin to cross out all you do and each time feel younger, more vibrant and inspired.

 Enjoy the process, enjoy your age.

 

 

 

 

 

Posted by Colette Lopane-Capella
09
Mar
2023

What is Reiki?


 

The Usui System of Reiki Healing is a palms-on healing practice. Reiki is an ancient laying-on-of-palms healing technique that uses the Universal life force energy to balance the subtle energies within our bodies and to heal(soley distance reiki as of 1/2022). Reiki practitioners act as a conduit or channel through which Reiki energy travels. The intended result of receiving Reiki is a balanced physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual being. Reiki is being used today in clinics and hospitals all over the world to support health, wellness and transition. 

______ What happens during a Reiki treatment? 
During a Reiki treatment, you will lay fully clothed on a massage table, covered in a blanket if you choose, listening to soothing music or distance reiki. (soley distance reiki as of 1/2022) Your Reiki practitioner will lay their hands on your body in a series of hand positions to deliver Reiki energy. A Reiki treatment generally covers first your head then the front of your body and finally the back of your body. If the reclined position is uncomfortable, Reiki can be performed while you sit in a chair or on a stool. 
______ What does Reiki feel like? 
Reiki tends to feel warm and profoundly relaxing. You may feel the hands of the Reiki practitioner become hot or tingly. Some people describe a floating sensation and some see colors or shapes during the session. Some people fall asleep. Some experience emotional release. There is no expected experience- Reiki treatment is unique for each individual who receives it. 
The most common results of Reiki treatment include:
• Perceived reduction in stress 
• Increased relaxation 
• Enhanced sense of balance, centeredness, and calm.

______ What are the benefits of several sessions?  Just like meditation, or movement arts, the effects of Reiki are cumulative. While one session can work wonders, repeated, regular Reiki treatments can invite significant improvement. As an example: if you exercise for an hour, you will receive benefit. If you exercise every day for a month, the results will be much more profound. Reiki works similarly " regular sessions support well-being in every way.  
______ Can Reiki "cure" me?  Reiki is a complementary medical art that works well alone as well as in concert with other treatments. Healing is often the result of gentle shifts in awareness, release of emotional patterns, achievement of new understanding, and daily practice. Reiki is not a replacement for traditional medical treatment.

What is distance reiki? (As of 1/2022 we only offer distance reiki)
Distant Reiki, energy is not limited by distance. Distance is only a physical limitation, so sessions can be done without clients being physically present. We are all connected, as we are all energy matter and part of a larger whole.

A distant healing session can be done in a number of ways. The practitioner can use a proxy, use visualization, or use a projection of Reiki to send Reiki energy to someone else. The distant Reiki symbol joins the Reiki practitioner and the client together in a sacred healing space.

To receive distant Reiki healing you don’t have to do anything special, but it’s best to lie down and be still if possible. The recipient and healer can agree on a time beforehand and the person receiving simply needs to sit or lie down for the specified amount of time, 30- 45 minutes. The effects of distant healing are virtually no different than hands-on healing. An experienced Reiki healer (level II or higher) can send healing energy to a person anywhere in the world no matter how far away from the healer they are. The energy transmissions in a remote session are just as strong as if they were delivered in person directly with the hands. You can also order distant healing for your loved ones. While it is best if they are aware they are receiving a remote Reiki treatment so they can be open to receiving the most benefit, even if they aren’t aware the practitioner can send Reiki with the intention that they receive based on their own free will, asking their spirit guide (energy guide) to make the connection and ask permission.

 

Posted by Colette Lopane-Capella